umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize