I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
