Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
