Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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