I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
