she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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