I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
