He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
