im about as happy as oj after his trial
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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