I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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