So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I fill condoms, not promises.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
