Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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