I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
