You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So many bounce houses so little time
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
