btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
