So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
