In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
