Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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