The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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