plz talk dirty to me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
