Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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