Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
