i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
zippers are such a cool invention
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize