just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
