Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize