dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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