My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
