Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I will pee on everything he values.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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