Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize