I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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