Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
