I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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