Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
