Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So much rum. So many feels.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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