he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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