recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
