Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
