just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
