is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
