I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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