Swine flu. Run for my life!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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