So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
