He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
