this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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