How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize