i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
