kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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