so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
