What a fucking waste of an outfit
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
