Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
