Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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