she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
