dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
