I am puke
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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