yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
