I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
