Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
