my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bring me that man meat
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
