Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
