Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
