yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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