and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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