google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
