The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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